Merry Christmas to all of you!

Two days ago I received a rejection from a job application. Since I’ve been at my new job for two months now, I knew that the company’s response was at least that old.

Curiosity got the better of me, and I looked up in my notes exactly when I had applied: August 7th. So this rejection is about four(!) months(!) past due. Thanks, Camber, for (finally) deigning to give me an answer, but you know, I kinda already figured out that I was not the candidate selected for that esteemed Administrative Assistant position.

But seriously, thanks for the reminder that job-hunting is beyond frustrating, and that I’m so, so blessed to have actually found a job.

With two lovely days off for Thanksgiving (woo hoo!) I have finished redesigning my “inspirational site.”

Two years ago, I changed that site to a blog format – where I still post regularly, btw – but the previous site is still open, partly as a backup and partly to point people to the new site.

I consider them both companions to my Christmas site, which I also redesigned a few weeks ago.

My boss called me at home early last week. She had to put me on hold for a few minutes, and this gave me time to ponder how odd it was to be hearing from her about seven-thirty in the evening.

My train of thought went something like this: “What in the world could she be calling about? Does she have a question about that project? Could I have misplaced something? Or is she just going to say that I shouldn’t come in tomorrow – or at all! Maybe the company’s in trouble financially with that one contract getting moved back! Or have I done something wrong? I HAVEN’T BEEN THERE LONG ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING!” And if you’re reading each of those lines with increasing panic, then you’re reading them the way I was thinking them.

Needless to say, by the time she was back on the phone, I had braced myself for impending bad news. And the reason for the call? She was attending a training class the next day, and she realized that it would be beneficial for me to tag along as well. Could I meet her there at eight-thirty? I sheepishly said yes.

After I hung up, I was embarrassed to be reminded of my tendency of late to fly into Chicken Little mode at the drop of a hat. I’ve been doing that for the better part of this year in my thoughts about my health issues – all of which are thankfully minor, btw, knock on wood. Yet I persist in going from “everything’s okay” to “everything’s as BAD as it can POSSIBLY BE.”

Maybe Thanksgiving would be an excellent time for me to count my blessings and include all those things I’ve recently worried about that turned out to be nothing.

And hopefully I’ll take that all to heart and just try to calm(!) down(!).

I’m almost settled in at both my new job and my new apartment but I still can’t seem to follow through on the blog topics that I think of. So, I’m catching up with posting the pictures I’ve taken recently – if the baseball game that Jeff and I went to back in early September can be called recently. :blush:

Anyway here are the links:

Five photos from the baseball game
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/p090509a.html

Three photos from Joe Wheeler State Park
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/p110109a.html

Three photos from Monte Sano State Park and one from my Mom’s yard
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/p110709a.html

The links above are the first pic in each set. Click ‘Next’ at the top right corner of the picture to see the next one.

Note: as I was giving the slideshow a test run, clicking ‘Next’ and proofreading each comment, some ad suddenly redirected me to some weird yellowpages lookup. If that happens to you, use the album index link below to view the pictures. (And would you please let me know? I like the features at fotki, but if their ads get annoying, I will move my gallery away from them in a heartbeat.)

Photo Gallery Index (2009)
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/

Work is going well! Mostly, I’ve been reading to get familiar with the business, their software, etc. and that can make for a long day, but it’s a necessary first step. Happily, I realized yesterday that all of the reading *is* serving its purpose, as I do feel more familiar with the material.

In other news, this week I was finally able to check one of my (twenty or so) old email accounts. It had – I exaggerate not – over 4000 emails. Of course, 3996 of them were spam. Of the four valid ones, one was a test email I’d recently sent, which is actually what inspired me to do the work to check that account. But the other three non-spams were warnings from TheFanlistings.org. Apparently my MacGyver fanlisting was on the troubles list, and since I didn’t respond to their two warnings, they wrote to say that it was removed from the network. And this happened back in October of 2007. Oops!

I would’ve sworn I checked the TFL.org site not long ago to be sure my three sites were still listed. I guess I checked the two I thought were more likely to have been removed. Oops again.

This is not a tragedy. I think of the MacGyver site primarily as a fan website, and the bulk of its traffic is from people who are looking for MacGyver information. Still, I am embarrassed at this oversight, and after checking to see that there isn’t a new Mac fan listing, I applied for mine to be it again.

And if they say no, the new layout was made in such a way that it’ll be very easy to remove the fanlisting related links from the menu.

That would be “hired.”

:pause for anticipation of joyful news:

That’s right: I am HIRED! And I’ve gotta say that the eight(!) and a half(!) months(!) of looking were *well* worth it because I got a lot of my wants with this job. It’s close to my mom’s place. It’s not in the industry that I left in January. Best of all, it’s still in engineering but more on the business side and less on the oh-so-frustrating, who-do-I-have-to-kill-to-get-a-straight-answer design side. Excuse me while I weep for joy.

Really, it sounds like such a good opportunity that I’m almost afraid of saying too much about it at this point for fear of jinxing it. Maybe I’ll just move on.

I start to work this coming Monday, so there will likely be a slight lull in website work while I get settled into a new routine and find a new apartment.

Oh, and in sharing the happy news with some former coworkers, I finally revealed the location of my websites. So if any of them are reading this: welcome! Yes, I have a blog, and yes, I may have talked about you. And if there’s *any* chance that might hurt your feelings, may I suggest that you peruse one of my other sites instead?

But if you’re feeling strong – got your big girl panties on? Good – and are not afraid to hear another point of view, then read on.

And actually, I kid. There’s no need for anyone to brace for some scathing attack. I feel pretty comfortable exposing these writings because a) as I’ve written before, when I write something to post on-line, I keep in mind that anyone could read it, so I try to be as objective as possible. Also b) people who’ve spent time around me should recognize that I am overall a positive person, and c) on the occasions that I’ve ranted about coworkers, I didn’t use their real names. Combined with d) it’s been about a year since my last work-related rant, surely the objects of any rants will have forgotten and won’t recognize that it’s about them. Hopefully, they don’t journal.

This morning as I drove in to the gas station, I noticed a former co-worker fueling up. I parked at the adjacent pump and called out a greeting as he was headed toward the building. He came over and gave me a one-armed hugged.

He asked what I was doing now. Upon hearing that I’m still unemployed, he gave me such a pitying look that I actually get embarrassed when I think of it. He was all, “I just hate how they did you…” While I do appreciate the sympathy, I absolutely do not think of myself as cause for pity.

Okay, I had plenty of pity parties myself right after I was fired, but now I’m feeling more optimistic, and I tried to convey that. I told my former co-worker that I *could* have a job now, but it’d be something I didn’t want. “I don’t mind taking my time and finding something good,” I insisted, to which my former co-worker gave me another oh-she’s-being-so-brave-about-all-this look.

He’s still working at that company, and he said that business is picking up. He asked if I’d consider coming back. He’s in no position to hire me, nor do I reckon that he has any influence on those who do. And really, it doesn’t matter what I would or wouldn’t do; since I was fired for less-than-stellar performance, I’m fairly positive they wouldn’t hire me back anyway. But *just* in case, if any of the higher-ups bumps his head and starts to think about me, for the record I told my former co-worker that I would not come back.

On the way home I heard “I Will Survive,” and I mentally dedicated it to my former bosses, especially the first part: “At first, I was afraid. I was petrified! Kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights, thinkin’ how you did me wrong, and I grew strong…” Yeah, getting fired threw me for a (gargantuan, industrial-sized) loop, but I’m past that now, and I’m really looking forward to the new opportunities I’ll have.

So, my former co-workers, please spare me your pity. If you want to show your support, join me in happily pondering the good things the future holds for me. Or buy me some lunch, if you prefer to give something more tangible.

Re: the topic in the previous entry, I’d just about made up my mind: I wasn’t going to volunteer in my teacher friend’s class. The primary reason being that, as I approach eight(!) months of unemployment, I really need to start considering some source of actual income.

Ah, but then! Today I learned that I was actually approved for unemployment compensation. :shocked: I applied at the urging of another friend, but I really, truly, utterly believed that I would be turned down. My only experience with someone even attempting to get unemployment compensation was when my sister tried for it seven or so years ago. She was fired for her cash drawer (at a fast food place) being $3 short. Although she had worked there over ten years, because there had been two other instances of her drawer being short, she was denied UC. At that point, I became convinced that “those people” went out of their way to deny claims.

I figured that since I was fired because my “performance did not meet expectations,” I would be turned down. I figured it wouldn’t matter that my many requests for help/training went unanswered or that my ex-employers hadn’t given me a single performance review before suddenly kicking me to the curb. That’s why I waited all this time, and I ONLY did it now so that I could silence people who asked about it with a curt, “Yeah, I didn’t get it.”

But I did get it! And I actually find myself somewhat inspired by it. Before, job hunting was quite disheartening, with all the looking and finding no opportunities. But now, it’s as if I’m getting paid to job hunt, and that makes even the fruitless searches seem like just part of the process. For the first time since I got fired, I feel as if I haven’t been forgotten. (And, wow, does that feel nice.)

This may sound corny, but also while I’m considering myself on the government payroll, I plan to make it part of my “duties” to try to be a better citizen, more of a – dare I say it? – do-gooder. And part of that just might be helping out in that teacher’s classroom.

I’m really torn.

A teacher friend from church heard that I’m still unemployed and offered that I could come help out with her class. She said she couldn’t pay me, but she could really use the help. I agreed that I’d think it over.

When she first mentioned it, I was excited about the prospect. I’m certainly not at a loss for things to do, but that seems especially worthwhile. Plus, it would be nice to get out of the house. And who knows, it just might lead to a job.

Still, I have *no* kind of teaching ability, especially with math, which is what she said I could help with. I see how things are supposed to go, but I can’t explain them any other way. “Two plus two is four. Don’t you see? You have two, and you add two, and it’s four. Two. Plus two. Is four!” Insert blank look from student here.

And have I mentioned that I’m not very good with kids in general? I’m just not around any kids on any kind of regular basis. And after recently spending time near a very active toddler, I’m reminded that I kind of like it that way. (FYI, I’d be helping with a third grade class, which for some reason seems like a good age to me.)

Another issue with agreeing to help is wondering, “Am I not REALLY CLOSE to getting a job?” True, I currently have zero prospects, but – to avoid a full-on depression – I have to believe that something good is around the corner. I’d hate to make the commitment to help at the school and then have to leave for a “real” job. I’d feel as if I’d be leaving the kids in the lurch. But, realistically speaking, since I’m not even finding anything to apply for, I’d probably have at least two months to work at the school.

On the topic of schools, my hypochondriac side keeps pointing out how the schools are a major point of concern with the swine flu. Hypochondria aside, being uninsured, I’m trying to avoid situations that might contribute to excessive medical bills, and let’s face it, schools are somewhat of a hotbed of germs.

On the topic of working, if it’s (oh so depressingly) true that I’m not any closer to finding a so-called good job, I could seriously use some income. Would it be wise to put restrictions on my availability with volunteering if I’m going to have to start applying for part-time work?

Well, I had hoped that writing these things down might help me sort them out, but I’m still torn. If anyone has anything helpful to share, I’d appreciate it!