Month: March 2007

nothin’ but a number

Well, the gig jig is up. Cute Work Guy asked how old I am. As before, I tried to avoid telling him, but he really wanted to know. Long story short, he had been told I was 3 years younger, and he’s four years younger than that, and for whatever reason, I didn’t want him to know how olllllld I really am.

Actually, I know why I didn’t want him to know. He’s cute (you probably got that from the way I call him Cute Work Guy, huh), and he’s fun and flirty, and dang it, somehow him not knowing my real age added to the fantasy. It’s like there’s who I really am, and then there’s the person I was to him. It gave me the briefest chance to reinvent myself for a while, and that was nice. 

But, I confessed. Now, it’s goodbye “You’re as old as my sister,” hello, “Wow, you’re older than my SISTER!” (No, he didn’t say that last part – and if he thought it, he covered nicely.)

Ah, well. It’s probably for the best. Now I don’t have to worry about my OfficeMate spilling the beans to CWG. CWG pinky-swore to keep my true age secret. That was sweet, but now that he knows, I don’t really mind if the others do.

Maybe I’ll try embracing reality. For a little while. 😉

great idea, Custer

Perhaps I spoke too soon in the last entry, using “happy” and “job” in the same sentence. Today, I actually shed tears.

Long story short, the guy that trains OfficeMate and me is again threatening to reassign us, this time for two months to work in the factory part of our collective business.

Well, that’s a great idea! The higher-ups *finally* start to focus on training OM and me, so of COURSE the next logical step is to put us in a completely new environment where we can start learning a new job from scratch, only so we can do it temporarily!

To me, this smacks of another example of Trainer Guy’s playing games, and – given my tendency of late to obsess over things – that frustrates me more than words can say, especially as I sit working in vain on a yet another tough, overdue project. And my typical response to frustration is crying.

I wasn’t full out sobbing, just sitting at my computer bravely dabbing my eyes before tears could flow and ruin my makeup. OM was wisely not saying anything to me about it, but I guess the guy that came in to speak to him couldn’t ignore it because he asked, “Is she crying?” Without looking at him, I said, “It’s sinuses.” He didn’t buy it.

I finally had to escape to the restroom and collect myself because if you try to talk to me about why I’m crying? I’ll only cry more!

But I do appreciate that guy’s concern. Frankly, I’m pleasantly surprised at his response. He’s just about the last person there I’d expect to show any interest in what was bothering me. I think that makes me appreciate his kindness even more. 

Later, he was in to see OM again, and I jokingly threatened to cry. Sounding more like himself, he smiled and snapped, “Eh, quit your whining.” 🙂 Then he added seriously that I shouldn’t let them get to me. 

I’ll sure try. In the mean time, I’ve got a good supply of tissues.

keep it on the down low

I’m happy to report that my vow to like my job again was realized much sooner than I would have imagined. The day after I wrote the last post, things had really settled down.

People are laughing and cutting up quite a bit, like they did not-so-long ago before the onset of The Drama. For example, at lunch today, Cute Work Guy came in to ask me about a project. Upon seeing that my OfficeMate wasn’t there, CWG decided to set a boobytrap for him that involved stretching a rubber band that would hit OM when he moved his computer mouse.

As I kept a watch out the window for OM’s truck, CWG busied himself with his diabolical scheme. I teased, “If only you would use your power for good and not evil.”

In the course of setting the trap, CWG shot himself with the rubber band in the crotch (!) about five times. He was right in my line of sight, so I couldn’t help noticing. Since he wasn’t really affected by the shots, each time I’d laugh, offer a sympathetic, “Ouch!” and modestly look away. At one point, I said, “You’re *really* suffering for your art.” He said, “I keep shooting my belt buckle.” I said, “Thank goodness for the belt buckle, huh.” (Hmm, I do flirt a bit with CWG, but was that remark on the verge of going too far? Because I really can’t tell…)

Anyway, I soon noticed OM’s truck in the parking lot. CWG had to hurry to finish the trap. When OM returned, I could barely keep from laughing out loud, just imagining the scene. (No, I’m really not cut out for pranks.) Unfortunately, the rubber band fired at the wrong time when OM moved something else on the desk, and it hit the wall.

But before all that, when CWG first stopped by my desk about the project, I had my page of links open, doing a bit of ‘Net surfing – hey, I was on my lunch break, too! – and CWG may have seen the URL of that page. If so, he can find this site.

And if he reads this entry, well, he’ll know without a doubt it’s me. :waves sheepishly: All I ask, CWG, is that you don’t tell anyone that you’ve found it – especially not me!

save the drama for … someone else!

For the past week or two, things at work have been kind of up in the air. The guy that trains OfficeMate and me turned in his letter of resignation. As plans were made on how to redistribute his duties, OfficeMate and I decided that this could be a good thing. We both feel that our training has somewhat suffered because of Trainer Guy’s constant state of busyness. The change might just do us good.

However. As of today, it looks like TG is staying. I can’t help recalling how he sat in our office not-so-long ago and declared that once he turned his notice in, he will NOT pull it back. Oh, really? Apparently, it was all a power play, and I can’t tell you how that lessens the respect I had for him. A day or two ago, he declared that if he stays maybe he’ll put OfficeMate and me in drafting for a while and let us detail our own buildings. Is that supposed to be a threat? Whatever!

OfficeMate and I have decided that TG is very insecure, and the argument could be made that he’s held back in training us because he thinks he’ll work himself out of a job. Which, btw, is ridiculous, because it will be years before we’re up to speed with him.

About that whole put-us-in-drafting thing. 1) I don’t have a problem with that. I enjoy learning new things, and knowing more aspects of the industry can only help me. But 2) I was not hired to draft. I was hired to design buildings, and the higher-ups might have a problem if someone suddenly decides to reassign my duties. And 3) I’m not very proficient with AutoCAD, so I would need extra time to detail even something simple. And 4) as I politely told TG to his face when he tried to scare us with talk of a fast-paced new schedule: they can put down whatever deadline they want for me, but if I know that it’s completely unreasonable? It doesn’t bother me a bit to not meet it.

Since we’re in this time of transition, perhaps OfficeMate and I should sit down and talk with TG about where we’re going with this training. Personally, I am going to need more help. TG has had a fairly hands-off approach, which works okay when we’re doing something we’ve seen before, but when there’s something new, more step-by-step guidance is needed. Also, when we ask a question, TG is very bad about giving some vague answer, something designed to show that he knows what to do, but he doesn’t want to just give us the answer. As a result, we’ve wasted much frustrating time digging for answers, or as I like to call it “reinventing the wheel”.

Before when I’ve ventured to ask questions only to be blown off with a vague answer, I typically returned to my desk overwhelmed, and I’d sit, sulking, hesitating to ask again. This past week I did that for over two days. Of course, my project was very late, and other departments – not to mention whatever professional reputation I’m trying to develop- suffered because of it. I see now that I can’t just wait on this stuff: I’m going to have to make him/them help me, and I’ll say it plainly, “I need help on this because I have NO idea what I’m doing.” And if I don’t feel I’m getting the help I need, I’ll go to TG first and try to explain it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to call in a higher power, because I know they’re concerned about OfficeMate and me learning more.

OfficeMate goes so far as to say that TG is *trying* to make us look bad. The sad part is that I can sorta see it. Mister, you have NO idea the kind of crummy jobs, bosses, fellow employees, and work environments I have already endured. Beyond that, I refuse to be infected with your drama.

I *will* like my job again.

flipping out

I was a bit disappointed this morning that not a single person at church mentioned my new haircut. Granted, my first attempt at styling it did not go so great, but how bad must it be that people couldn’t even do the observation-more-than-a-compliment, “You got a haircut!”

I posted before and after pictures, and this is my argument for it begging comment: at least it looks better than it did before!

http://www.neloo.com/chezanne/slides/me2007.html

Today, I tried curling the ends under. Tomorrow, I will attempt to flip them out.

I’m counting on the guys at work to not let me down and make some sort of comment. Oh, it’ll probably be borderline insulting – something along the lines of “Did you get attacked with a weed whacker?” – but I’ll comfort myself that they really do like the change, they simply feel they must maintain their cool about it.

hair today

Getting a haircut should be no big deal, right? I mean, people do it every day! A person sits in the chair, talks about what they want, makes some snappy banter while the process is underway, say that they love the result, and go on their merry way after paying, of course.

In my case, prior to actually going, there are several additional steps in which I mope about how I hate having my hair cut because I tend to hate the result. I only go to the stylist when I can bear my hair’s current pathetic state no more. But true to form, after the trim, I usually hate the result. This leaves me dreading the next time and scolding myself to find a better place.

Years ago, the only time I liked my hair was after a visit to the salon. Now, I typically hurry home afterward so that no one can see me until I’ve had the chance to style my hair myself. Even then, I usually wear it up for several days.

Today, this was not the case. I tried a new stylist, and I definitely got a new ‘do, but I was ready. I took “before” pictures this morning, and I almost cried over how bad my hair looks.

I had decided that instead of saying “long layers” like I usually do, I was just going to say “layers,” and see how the stylist interpreted that. I guess I was encouraged that this new person seemed to really listen after asking what I had in mind, because I gushed a bit and made hand gestures to indicate the lengths.

My WORD, she cut quite a bit, but I *really* like it. I took several “after” pictures; my goal is to print them out and show them the next time I go.

Ooh, I just had a sobering thought: tomorrow, I’ll have to style my hair myself. :bites lip nervously:

Anyway, I will post pictures tomorrow, when I’m away from this maddeningly-slow dial-up connection.