Posted in feelings, work

any right at all to criticize

“Yeah, we walk through the door, so accusing, their eyes, like they have any right at all to criticize. Hypocrites, you’re all here for the very same reason.” – Anna Nalick, Breathe

A guy at work was looking at the calendar in my office while he waited to talk to the person next door. This led to a brief discussion of birthdays, and he remembered that mine was in October, although he guessed the wrong day. I supplied the correction, and he, looking casually at the calendar, guessed the year. I corrected that, too, and he said, “Oh, is your age not a secret anymore?” (Apparently, he missed the meeting where it was announced. )

He did the math and exclaimed, “And you’re not married yet?!” Okay, see that? Is exactly why I didn’t want people to know my age. As I wrote previously, I didn’t want to be put in some box based on who people (aka They) think I should be at this age. And obviously They do just that! They hear the number and decide “she’s old and single and must therefore be pathetic and desperately seeking marriage to avoid impending spinsterhood.”

Yeah, I found that judgment maddening, but then, as I also wrote, what would be the appropriate age/marital status/life that would satisfy Them? Suppose I was single because I was divorced? Would They find that sufficiently respectable? I don’t think so, since a divorced lady was mentioned during lunch just last week, and They scoffed that she is a “train wreck” and it’s “no wonder she can’t get a man.”

What if I was married? Maybe even had a kid or two? Would *that* satisfy Them? Again, it isn’t likely, because They also talk about the married people we know, and more often than not, the spouse of the person in question is deemed a loser and the kids spoiled or bratty or delinquent.

What if I was single but content with my life, and I realized that Their need to belittle other people speaks volumes about Their own self-esteem issues? And what if I realized that the small-minded opinions of such people are not worth worrying about? Well, then I’d be exactly where I am now. *big smile*

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