Month: June 2008

the way the cookie statements crumble

From the latest email to my boyfriend.

Dear Jeff,

On Saturday, when you said something like, “I’ve got to where I can recognize certain songs just by the drum intro,” I replied sarcastically, “Yes, because NO ONE ELSE can do that.” That was not nice, and I do apologize.

But allow me to explain what prompted that snark. (Note that I bring this up because I think it is one of those recurring “personality differences” that concerns me. I’m writing this in a positive tone, not trying to harp, just sharing my feelings, as I’m striving to do lately.) Backing up to recap the conversation right before the above-noted exchange, as I recall, a song by Bruce Hornsby and the Range started to play on the radio, and you and I both recognized it about the same time. You said, “Oh, I know that one.” And I agreed, “Me too.” You added, “Now if it was that ‘That’s Just The Way It Is’, I would’ve recognized it in like, two notes.” Again, I agreed that I would have also. This was when you said the line about the drum intros. Since you hadn’t acknowledged my responses to your previous two lines, I was feeling quite ignored by this point, and to top that off, it sounded to me like you were trying to brag about yourself. Yes, this irked me, and I guess I made that clear…

I thought about this incident and how to bring it up, and what would be the point if I did bring it up. I finally decided that maybe the problem I have with the bragging type statements is that either the listener joins the person in singing their own praises (and I usually can’t bring myself to do that, since they’re doing such a fine job of it on their own!) or the listener doesn’t have anything to say. For that reason, I call them Cookie Statements because the only reply I can think of is, “What do you want, a cookie??” Which I don’t say because I wouldn’t want you or the people at work or whomever to say that to me when I make a Cookie Statement.

So, my suggested solution is this. Perhaps we – yes, me too – could try following a cookie statement with a question to include the other person. Such as, “I can recognize certain songs just by the drum intro. How about you?” Well, maybe that’s a bad example: it sounds kinda like you’re bragging and then challenging me to best you. The idea I’m thinking of is the way I attempt to do in my emails to Michele. For example, I told her about my trials in picking up my walmart dot com order at the store, and then I said, “Have you ever had such an experience with them? Or have you ordered anything from them?” And then it’s like, a conversation, or something. 😀

Love,

Anne

It’s not too harsh, is it? I admit that I’m no good at heart-to-heart talks, so I attempt to share via screen-to-screen writes. (He has yet to respond to what I’ve written, btw.)

letters to write

Dear people at work,

If you’re going to respond to my complaining with a sarcastically unconcerned, “Oh well, live and learn,” you’d best have the same attitude after one of your own (frequent and lengthy) gripe sessions. Otherwise you come across as the hypocritical doodiehead who thinks his problems are SO much worse than everyone else’s. Believe me, you don’t want to be *that* guy.

Just thought you should know,

Anne

no meat, no fish, no service

This weekend my boyfriend and I agreed that we were in the mood for some oriental flavor. He had an idea, and he drove us to one of the nicer Japanese places in Huntsville to see if they had a menu posted. Alas, a menu wasn’t posted, and Jeff again disclaimed that he didn’t know whether they’d have anything for a vegetarian. Anxious to try a new place, I replied optimistically that surely they’d have something. I mean, at the very least they can throw some rice in with some vegetables and call it an entrée!

However, as we sat at our table scanning the menu, I realized that I might have been mistaken. I didn’t see anything that would work. Our waiter returned, and I asked him if they had any vegetarian selections. “We do,” he replied. “Do you consider fish as being vegetarian?” No. In that case, he suggested one or two of the appetizers.

After looking at the menu for about ten minutes – and being thoroughly disappointed in their lack of choices – I finally settled on something with the decidedly non-appetizing title of “organic salad.” Off the waiter went to place our order … only to return minutes later to say that they were out of the organic salad. I replied that I didn’t want anything. After Jeff finished his sushi, he would take me over to one of our regular places and I’d get something.

I admit that I was not a happy camper for a little while, but I was over it by the time Jeff’s food arrived. I was determined not to have a snit fit like some of the customers from my waitress days. As I wrote back then, “Sometimes you have to pick another vegetable.” Apparently, sometimes you also have to go somewhere else to *get* vegetables.

tragicomic dramedy

I was going to gripe about how this week has been overrun with Things Not Going My Way, but I must admit that’s not 100 percent true. Some things have worked out well. So, I’ll recap some of the good and the bad, and just so it’s clear which is which, I’ll follow the instance by declaring which it is. (To get the effect I had in mind, imagine the “That’s …!” line being said by a Greek – or geek! – chorus.)

I went to the doctor for a follow-up visit about a toenail situation, and the doctor was apparently determined not to spare me another office visit by completing a check-up as well.

“That’s bad!”

Thankfully, my doctor’s visit was for nothing more serious than a “toenail situation.”

“That’s good!”

I submitted two maintenance requests to the apartment manager, and although someone attempted to fix my leaky kitchen faucet, it is now leaking worse.

“That’s bad!”

It seems that maintenance did fix my leaky AC unit because the wet spot in my floor has been reduced from soaking wet to moist.

“That’s good!”

Earlier this week, I ran across a free-account limit that I didn’t know flickr had: they only show the 200 most recent pictures. I refuse to pay their upgrade fee, so now I’m stuck looking for a new photo gallery service.

“That’s bad!”

Earlier this week, my inspirational blog, which already has way more traffic than my personal blog, reached a new one day maximum of almost 160 hits.

“That’s good!”

Yesterday, I arrived at work to find a dead mouse by my garbage can.

“That’s bad!”

One of the guys removed the dead mouse for me and didn’t even chase me around with it.

“That’s good!”

Yes, overall it’s been a mix of good and bad. Hmm, what’s that called again? Oh, yeah. “Life.”

degrees of separation

Two weekends ago
While cleaning, I found an October 2007 Glamour magazine with an interesting article mentioned on the cover. I didn’t have time to look at it, so I set it aside.

Last week
As noted in the previous entry, I developed a case of Beatlemania. I didn’t mention it before, but on several occasions, after time spent Beatle watching and listening, I’ve felt restless, as in “I must go outside.” (I attribute it to being affected by George Harrison’s death. Sometimes things like that get in my head, and I fixate over them for a while, but I’ll admit, the slight claustrophobia is new.) The urgent need to be outside brought to mind the Dixie Chicks’ song “Wide Open Spaces.”

Last weekend
I looked at the October 2007 Glamour. The “interesting” article turned out to be not really. However, listed among the “10 ballsy women” the magazine was recognizing was Yoko Ono, for “marrying John Lennon and breaking up the Beatles. Now if she could just marry Natalie Maines and break up the Dixie Chicks.” I wondered whether the writer thought it was good that the Beatles broke up, but good or bad, since Yoko often gets the blame/credit for that, she certainly fits the list.

That same day
I found the Dixie Chicks’ video “Wide Open Spaces” among the videotapes I’d made when I had cable and watched it.

Also that same day
Trying to find a Beatle-free pursuit to give my poor thoughts a rest, I watched Lethal Weapon. Not much later, I learned that George Harrison wrote and performed a song – Cheer Down – on the Lethal Weapon 2 soundtrack. (Note to self: watch that movie soon.)

And having written all of this, I plan to take the Beatles fangirl talk over to the Beatles thread at the forums, starting with a correction to the “She Loves You” lyrics.