I’m absolutely boggled: Ray, one of my exes tried to call me yesterday! :O
Since I haven’t mentioned him in a long while, let me summarize the experience of seeing him by copying and pasting what I wrote back in October of 2002.
He’s ten years older than I am, which actually didn’t bother me so much. He’s divorced and has four(!) kids, all teenagers or close to it. Without going into details, let me just say that he and I are *very* different personality wise.
Instead of making a clean break – the honorable thing to do – he’d just stop calling for months at a time. Then, just as I’d accept that it was over, he’d call again and swear that this time he wanted only me. I finally got fed up with that and grew a spine. In January of 2001, I left a voicemail message saying that I was going to start seeing other people and that I’d see him “around.” Sure a voicemail is pretty cowardly, but it’s still more respect than he showed me. I needed some type of closure; there was no way I’d spend Valentine’s Day wondering whether or not he’d call.
In the nine years (!!!) since we parted, he has tried to call me several times, the last time being maybe 2005, to tell me that his 15-year-old daughter was going to have a baby. Then he was all, “Let’s get some coffee and chat.” And I was all, “Um, I haven’t lost my mind, so that’ll be a No.”
The last I heard of him was a few years ago, when my sister saw him at the store where she works. He’d told her that he was getting married. But as she pointed out, “He did say then that he’d call you…”
And I wondered then as I’m wondering now: “WHY?” If he has good news, or bad news, or is just feeling nostalgic about the so-called Good Old Days, whether or not he’s re-married by now, at this point it’s positively PITIFUL for him to feel that he should try to reconnect with me. I’ve repeatedly shown – and said! – that I’m not interested. Maybe he calls himself just trying to be friendly; well, I certainly have no hard feelings for him (any more), but that’s a *long* way from wanting to hang out and/or talk to him.
I doubt he’ll ever read this, since I (am paranoid and) do not put my real last name anywhere on any of my websites. But just in case, if you’re a pitiful guy named Ray who keeps calling an ex named Anne who dumped your disappearing, cowardly buh-utt with a voicemail message waaaaaaaaay back in 2001, do yourself everyone a favor and find a way to move on!