foreshadowing

For the past few weeks the boss has been dropping hints that he’s concerned about whether we’ll have more work after our current amount runs out in September. Knowing how tight-lipped he is about such matters, the fact that he’s mentioning it at all makes me think that things are more dire than he’s letting on. But then yesterday, he dropped the strongest hint to date that things are not looking good, if not for the business as a whole then certainly for their continued need of my services.

I find myself surprisingly calm about this. Maybe it helps that it’s not unexpected. Plus, how could I be angry about it? Well, I guess I *could,* but if they don’t have work for me to do, I certainly don’t expect them to pay me to do nothing! If they have to let me go, I’ll always appreciate the time that I’ve spent with them. They gave me a chance when I had no other options. With this experience on my résumé, I can hopefully take my career in a new direction – and :crosses fingers: continue in a path away from that oh-so-frustrating world of engineering.

I’m trying to think of finding new opportunities as an adventure… but I admit that when my mood swings out, I find the whole thing quite disheartening. To say that I dread another job search is an understatement, and even more than that the thought of having to start all over again truly makes me want to cry.

But moping will get me nowhere, and it ensures that I’ll be miserable on the way. In an effort to be proactive, I’ve already started thinking of places I could apply. Several times today while working on some of the less-fun parts of my job, I’ve found myself happily thinking, “Hey, maybe I won’t have to do this when I get a new job.” Then again, I’d best not trash-talk my current job too much; I could have to stay and be disappointed about it!

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