photoblogging

I’m almost settled in at both my new job and my new apartment but I still can’t seem to follow through on the blog topics that I think of. So, I’m catching up with posting the pictures I’ve taken recently – if the baseball game that Jeff and I went to back in early September can be called recently. :blush:

Anyway here are the links:

Five photos from the baseball game
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/p090509a.html

Three photos from Joe Wheeler State Park
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/p110109a.html

Three photos from Monte Sano State Park and one from my Mom’s yard
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/p110709a.html

The links above are the first pic in each set. Click ‘Next’ at the top right corner of the picture to see the next one.

Note: as I was giving the slideshow a test run, clicking ‘Next’ and proofreading each comment, some ad suddenly redirected me to some weird yellowpages lookup. If that happens to you, use the album index link below to view the pictures. (And would you please let me know? I like the features at fotki, but if their ads get annoying, I will move my gallery away from them in a heartbeat.)

Photo Gallery Index (2009)
http://public.fotki.com/box47/misc2009/

a website oversight

Work is going well! Mostly, I’ve been reading to get familiar with the business, their software, etc. and that can make for a long day, but it’s a necessary first step. Happily, I realized yesterday that all of the reading *is* serving its purpose, as I do feel more familiar with the material.

In other news, this week I was finally able to check one of my (twenty or so) old email accounts. It had – I exaggerate not – over 4000 emails. Of course, 3996 of them were spam. Of the four valid ones, one was a test email I’d recently sent, which is actually what inspired me to do the work to check that account. But the other three non-spams were warnings from TheFanlistings.org. Apparently my MacGyver fanlisting was on the troubles list, and since I didn’t respond to their two warnings, they wrote to say that it was removed from the network. And this happened back in October of 2007. Oops!

I would’ve sworn I checked the TFL.org site not long ago to be sure my three sites were still listed. I guess I checked the two I thought were more likely to have been removed. Oops again.

This is not a tragedy. I think of the MacGyver site primarily as a fan website, and the bulk of its traffic is from people who are looking for MacGyver information. Still, I am embarrassed at this oversight, and after checking to see that there isn’t a new Mac fan listing, I applied for mine to be it again.

And if they say no, the new layout was made in such a way that it’ll be very easy to remove the fanlisting related links from the menu.

rhymes with “fired”

That would be “hired.”

:pause for anticipation of joyful news:

That’s right: I am HIRED! And I’ve gotta say that the eight(!) and a half(!) months(!) of looking were *well* worth it because I got a lot of my wants with this job. It’s close to my mom’s place. It’s not in the industry that I left in January. Best of all, it’s still in engineering but more on the business side and less on the oh-so-frustrating, who-do-I-have-to-kill-to-get-a-straight-answer design side. Excuse me while I weep for joy.

Really, it sounds like such a good opportunity that I’m almost afraid of saying too much about it at this point for fear of jinxing it. Maybe I’ll just move on.

I start to work this coming Monday, so there will likely be a slight lull in website work while I get settled into a new routine and find a new apartment.

Oh, and in sharing the happy news with some former coworkers, I finally revealed the location of my websites. So if any of them are reading this: welcome! Yes, I have a blog, and yes, I may have talked about you. And if there’s *any* chance that might hurt your feelings, may I suggest that you peruse one of my other sites instead?

But if you’re feeling strong – got your big girl panties on? Good – and are not afraid to hear another point of view, then read on.

And actually, I kid. There’s no need for anyone to brace for some scathing attack. I feel pretty comfortable exposing these writings because a) as I’ve written before, when I write something to post on-line, I keep in mind that anyone could read it, so I try to be as objective as possible. Also b) people who’ve spent time around me should recognize that I am overall a positive person, and c) on the occasions that I’ve ranted about coworkers, I didn’t use their real names. Combined with d) it’s been about a year since my last work-related rant, surely the objects of any rants will have forgotten and won’t recognize that it’s about them. Hopefully, they don’t journal.

I pity the fuel

This morning as I drove in to the gas station, I noticed a former co-worker fueling up. I parked at the adjacent pump and called out a greeting as he was headed toward the building. He came over and gave me a one-armed hugged.

He asked what I was doing now. Upon hearing that I’m still unemployed, he gave me such a pitying look that I actually get embarrassed when I think of it. He was all, “I just hate how they did you…” While I do appreciate the sympathy, I absolutely do not think of myself as cause for pity.

Okay, I had plenty of pity parties myself right after I was fired, but now I’m feeling more optimistic, and I tried to convey that. I told my former co-worker that I *could* have a job now, but it’d be something I didn’t want. “I don’t mind taking my time and finding something good,” I insisted, to which my former co-worker gave me another oh-she’s-being-so-brave-about-all-this look.

He’s still working at that company, and he said that business is picking up. He asked if I’d consider coming back. He’s in no position to hire me, nor do I reckon that he has any influence on those who do. And really, it doesn’t matter what I would or wouldn’t do; since I was fired for less-than-stellar performance, I’m fairly positive they wouldn’t hire me back anyway. But *just* in case, if any of the higher-ups bumps his head and starts to think about me, for the record I told my former co-worker that I would not come back.

On the way home I heard “I Will Survive,” and I mentally dedicated it to my former bosses, especially the first part: “At first, I was afraid. I was petrified! Kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights, thinkin’ how you did me wrong, and I grew strong…” Yeah, getting fired threw me for a (gargantuan, industrial-sized) loop, but I’m past that now, and I’m really looking forward to the new opportunities I’ll have.

So, my former co-workers, please spare me your pity. If you want to show your support, join me in happily pondering the good things the future holds for me. Or buy me some lunch, if you prefer to give something more tangible.

money not for nothing

Re: the topic in the previous entry, I’d just about made up my mind: I wasn’t going to volunteer in my teacher friend’s class. The primary reason being that, as I approach eight(!) months of unemployment, I really need to start considering some source of actual income.

Ah, but then! Today I learned that I was actually approved for unemployment compensation. :shocked: I applied at the urging of another friend, but I really, truly, utterly believed that I would be turned down. My only experience with someone even attempting to get unemployment compensation was when my sister tried for it seven or so years ago. She was fired for her cash drawer (at a fast food place) being $3 short. Although she had worked there over ten years, because there had been two other instances of her drawer being short, she was denied UC. At that point, I became convinced that “those people” went out of their way to deny claims.

I figured that since I was fired because my “performance did not meet expectations,” I would be turned down. I figured it wouldn’t matter that my many requests for help/training went unanswered or that my ex-employers hadn’t given me a single performance review before suddenly kicking me to the curb. That’s why I waited all this time, and I ONLY did it now so that I could silence people who asked about it with a curt, “Yeah, I didn’t get it.”

But I did get it! And I actually find myself somewhat inspired by it. Before, job hunting was quite disheartening, with all the looking and finding no opportunities. But now, it’s as if I’m getting paid to job hunt, and that makes even the fruitless searches seem like just part of the process. For the first time since I got fired, I feel as if I haven’t been forgotten. (And, wow, does that feel nice.)

This may sound corny, but also while I’m considering myself on the government payroll, I plan to make it part of my “duties” to try to be a better citizen, more of a – dare I say it? – do-gooder. And part of that just might be helping out in that teacher’s classroom.

multiple choices

I’m really torn.

A teacher friend from church heard that I’m still unemployed and offered that I could come help out with her class. She said she couldn’t pay me, but she could really use the help. I agreed that I’d think it over.

When she first mentioned it, I was excited about the prospect. I’m certainly not at a loss for things to do, but that seems especially worthwhile. Plus, it would be nice to get out of the house. And who knows, it just might lead to a job.

Still, I have *no* kind of teaching ability, especially with math, which is what she said I could help with. I see how things are supposed to go, but I can’t explain them any other way. “Two plus two is four. Don’t you see? You have two, and you add two, and it’s four. Two. Plus two. Is four!” Insert blank look from student here.

And have I mentioned that I’m not very good with kids in general? I’m just not around any kids on any kind of regular basis. And after recently spending time near a very active toddler, I’m reminded that I kind of like it that way. (FYI, I’d be helping with a third grade class, which for some reason seems like a good age to me.)

Another issue with agreeing to help is wondering, “Am I not REALLY CLOSE to getting a job?” True, I currently have zero prospects, but – to avoid a full-on depression – I have to believe that something good is around the corner. I’d hate to make the commitment to help at the school and then have to leave for a “real” job. I’d feel as if I’d be leaving the kids in the lurch. But, realistically speaking, since I’m not even finding anything to apply for, I’d probably have at least two months to work at the school.

On the topic of schools, my hypochondriac side keeps pointing out how the schools are a major point of concern with the swine flu. Hypochondria aside, being uninsured, I’m trying to avoid situations that might contribute to excessive medical bills, and let’s face it, schools are somewhat of a hotbed of germs.

On the topic of working, if it’s (oh so depressingly) true that I’m not any closer to finding a so-called good job, I could seriously use some income. Would it be wise to put restrictions on my availability with volunteering if I’m going to have to start applying for part-time work?

Well, I had hoped that writing these things down might help me sort them out, but I’m still torn. If anyone has anything helpful to share, I’d appreciate it!

wheeler keeps turning

On Saturday, since it was such a beautiful and mild day (especially for August in the Deep South), I suggested that Jeff and I take the short drive to Joe Wheeler State Park and Resort. We did, and I’ll leave most of the comments for the pictures.

EXCEPT to point out how, as we walked on one of the nature trails, we happened upon a deer that remained sitting in its spot even as we passed about 15 feet away from it. As we walked away, I was all, “D’oh! I should’ve taken a picture!” But, to be honest, I didn’t linger because I didn’t want the poor thing to feel crowded … and to react to the threat by getting up and kicking us repeatedly. (Stranger things have happened, right??)

welcome to me

My boyfriend and I reached a milestone last week: the four-year anniversary of our first date. In honor of this, I finally shared with him that I have websites, including this blog.

So, Jeff, if you’re reading this . . . welcome! I know I cautioned you – twice – that I sometimes rant, and you seemed to take it under advisement. Perhaps I should’ve specified that I’ve ranted about you, but I didn’t want to belabor the point, especially when it’s been quite a while since my last rant.

I’ve been trying to decide why I waited so long to tell you about the websites. I know I didn’t mention them when we first started dating because I didn’t want to overshare. Then, I guess I liked having my privacy. But since this year began – or was it last year? – I’ve resolved to try to talk *to* people instead of complaining *about* them, and I think that knowing you can read what I write will help keep me accountable.

Maybe part of me also wanted to keep the sites a secret because I feared rejection. Years ago, I let my boyfriend at the time read my real journal. I was trying to reassure him that my feelings for him were real, but it backfired on me, because in his reading he focused on how I said another guy that we worked with was cute. My ex said glumly, “I was just the guy who bugged you into going out with him.” If I’d thought for a second that what I wrote would hurt the guy’s feelings, I would’ve kept it to myself.

But in the case of this blog, and even the rest of the sites, they’re *meant* to be shared. Even if I’m ranting, I keep in mind that anyone could read it, so I try not to say anything I wouldn’t want known. So, Jeff, when you read the less-upbeat musings, feel free to share your thoughts on them. In fact, I would LOVE for you to mention things you’ve read here. For one thing, that would show that you’ve been here and are giving my writings some thought (and you know how important it is for me to feel listened to!), but also it would start a discussion, another very desirable outcome.

I’m not sure what else to say by way of introduction. I know there’s a lot of material here. (I did mention the twenty sites, right? And actually it’s more than twenty if you count the little ones…) When perusing the blog entries, you might find it helpful to do so in the archive, which contains the entries from the current blog as well as those from previous years.

Again, welcome!

lessons learned from email

I just can’t seem to blog about the things that have been going on in my life lately, so I’m posting the start of my latest email to my friend Michele. (Michele, don’t read this unless you want to spoil the surprise, lol. I plan to finish the email and send it to you by the middle of next week. Hopefully, I’ll be able to report some progress in the topic in the first paragraph.)

Hi, Michele!

Well, yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of Jeff’s and my first date. Without launching into a ramble, I will say that this date (milestone?) has been on my mind. I remembered writing to you – maybe back in January? – that it was coming up later this year, but when I realized a few days ago that *this* was the week, I was flabbergasted. I’ve really been feeling that I need to take this opportunity to tell him (as I said all those months ago) “We’ve been dating for four years now, and I’d like for us to discuss how we think we’re doing…” I’m planning to say this to him either tomorrow (if he calls) or on Saturday at the latest. I really, really think this is something that he and I need to discuss and soon.

Moving on before I start to ramble, yes, I too was blown away by the death of Michael Jackson. His music was such a big part of my younger years, and – like with the 80s music in general – I have such good memories of listening to it. When I hear his songs now, I can’t help feeling sad that his life, once so promising with so much talent, took such a tragic turn. :*(

About my mom’s house being hit by lightning, it must’ve just got into the electrical stuff, so we’re pretty thankful for that! One house not far away was struck by lightning years ago, and it caught on fire and had to be torn down. It definitely could’ve been worse!

I got an email yesterday from one of my former co-workers that he’d been rehired. He was let go back in June. I’m really glad for him, because he has a wife and three kids to support, and he’s from that area, so I know he’d like to stay there. That got me wondering if they’d try to call me back to work. I quickly dismissed that notion – as I have from the start – since they called mine a “termination” and not a lay-off. Plus, I *really* don’t want to go back there, to that same old mess. I’m really looking forward to starting something new.

And speaking of something new, I taught our class’s Sunday School lesson last week. Our teacher – who is the pastor – was going to be on vacation, so he asked for a volunteer. There were just a few of us, so I volunteered. The topic was one near and dear to my heart: finding and following God’s will. Part of the lesson was about waiting for God’s timing, and I still marvel at how that falls right in line with what you and I are always saying. I even used an example that you mentioned about waiting: like with baking a cake, you want it *now* but if you don’t wait until it’s ready, it won’t be nearly as good.

another day, another new layout

As of yesterday, I’ve completed posting a new layout (well, with the same banner) at the MacGyver site.